• “I’m breaking up with my boyfriend because he refuses to let my Bichon share the bed with us when he sleeps over. I’ve had Maggie for ten years, but have been with him for just a year. I told him that she was here long before he was!”

    A Bichon Frise is a small white dog, poodle-sized, but fluffier. Fans of the breed love our “fluffs” for their bright, engaging natures and their extreme cuteness. But our attachment to these dogs can present challenges. One Bichon owner recently posted that lament on a Bichon-related Facebook group.

    “There’s an interesting dilemma,” I thought, anticipating that her post would spark a lively online debate.

    I was dead wrong. Within a day, she’d received 400 comments, every one of them supportive. The clear consensus among the Bichon crowd? A boyfriend who wouldn’t bed down with a Bichon should be kicked to the curb. The posted comments expressed this sentiment in a variety of ways:

    A CHOICE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A BICHON?  YOU CALL THAT A CHOICE?

    “I’d have done the same thing. Love my dog or there’s the door.”

    “Love me, love my Bichons. Out you go!”

    “Boyfriends come and go. Bichons are forever.”

    “His loss, your gain. More room in the bed for you and Maggie!”

    “Bichons before boys, I always say.”

    “What is he — nuts? NOBODY gets between a girl and her Bichon.”

    Kick him out. But tell Maggie to wee in his shoes first.

    “Well look who ended up in the dog house… Adios, boyfriend!”

    A DUDE WHO DISLIKES DOGS? BE VERY SUSPICIOUS.

    “You can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats your dog.”bichon1

    “A guy who starts with a demand like that will soon escalate to more if you give in. He needs to know that YOU take commitments seriously — starting with Maggie.”

    “If he doesn’t treat Maggie well, he probably won’t treat you well either.”

    ALWAYS CHOOSE YOUR DOG OVER A MAN. YOU WON’T EVER REGRET YOUR DECISION

    “Bichons are smarter than most men anyway. And far less aggravation.”

    “The more I know about men, the more I love my Bichon.”

    “No man will ever be as honest as your dog, or as loyal, or as caring. He might claim that he’ll be there for you. But you KNOW that Maggie will.”

    “You don’t need a man in your life to make you happy. You need just two things. Yourself… and your dog.”

    MR RIGHT WILL LOVE BOTH YOU AND YOUR DOG

    “You’ll find somebody nicer who will love Maggie too.”

    “Peaches and I are a package. End of story.”

    “The right guy will delight in a Bichon being part of your bedtime routine.”

    YOU’RE NOT THE FIRST BICHON OWNER TO MAKE THIS CALL

    “I made the same decision with my ex. He said choose… and I did! Lilo has shared my bed since she was a puppy. Eight years and counting.”

    “When my husband proposed, I told him that my dogs, who had shared my bed long before he did, would continue to do so. And if he hadn’t been okay with that? I wouldn’t have married him.”

    “I made the same call a decade ago. Best decision I ever made, because I met and married a man who loves both me and my dogs.”

    A BICHON ON THE BED? ALWAYS A PLUS

    “Mine cuddles with me every night and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.”

    “I can’t sleep without Buttons.”

    “My hubby doesn’t like sleeping with our dog on the bed either. When he complains I tell him to go sleep in another room. We just celebrated our 25th anniversary.”

    “Betsy is the best contraceptive I’ve ever used.”

    YOU CANT SHARE YOUR BED WITH TOO MANY BICHONS

    “No fluff in the bed? Is he insane? I sleep with four cuddly Bichons and I love it.”

    “Good for you. We sleep with six.”

    “All five of ours sleep with us.”

    “My husband and I sleep with three. We don’t accept people in our life who don’t love our furkids.”

    “We share our bed with six Bichons and my hubby loves it.  Real men love Bichons!”

    “We currently have nine in our bed. (Four adults and five puppies.)”

    EVEN FOLKS WHO DON’T BED DOWN WITH THEIR BICHONS APPLAUDED THIS DECISION:

    “Who needs a man who is jealous of a dog?”

    “He wants to come into your home and tell you what to do? I don’t think so.”

    “My Bichon doesn’t sleep in my bed but having said that — I wouldn’t let someone else tell me where my Zoey gets to sleep.”

    THE BICHON-ON-THE-BED TEST, IN FACT,  IS AN EXCELLENT WAY TO SCREEN OUT MR. WRONG

    “Anyone who doesn’t embrace my Tippy doesn’t have a chance with me.”

    “If he really loves you, putting up with your dog sleeping on the bed is a small price to pay.”

    “You go girl!! I’m on my own at 51 because unless I met someone who accepted my fluff Sheldon (and no one has) then they are NOT for me! I would rather have my dog by my side than a guy like that ANY DAY!!”

    A FEW FINAL WORDS OF ADVICE:

    “Get another Bichon to get over him.”

    “Get two!”

    “Better yet — go to the dog park and find a man who loves dogs.”

    IN CONCLUSION?

    “Thinking of dating a Bichon owner? Great idea. But never underestimate our love of or loyalty to the dog on the bed.”

    *Main photo credit: Markpromfm | Dreamstime.com – Bichon Frise Photo      *Inset photo credit: Tom Smith

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    Article by: Roz Warren

    Roz Warren (www.Rosalindwarren.com) writes for the Funny Times, the New York Times, the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Christian Science Monitor, the Jewish Forward, Reader’s Digest and the Huffington Post. And she’s been on both the Today Show and Morning Edition. Roz is the author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR, which collects her most popular essays about library work.

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    Tell us what you think - Please make your comments

    1. Alice2000 says:

      Agreed – Same goes for my cat!

    2. As always, great essay, Roz. And that’s from one dog lover to another.
      Thanks for sharing yours, hope you don’t mind if I share mine: http://www.franksandbeans.net/who-are-you-sleeping-with/

    3. Lesley says:

      Yeah, no contest. It’s not a case of “the house is on fire and I have to rescue either my dog or my boyfriend!” In that case, it would be heartbreaking but I’d have to go with the human. The point is, that if a guy makes a demand of that sort it says something about him. And what it says is not good at all.

    4. CarlT says:

      Keep the dog. The guy is obviously a tool. Anyone who does not love animals is not worth having in your life.
      I share my home and bed with two rescue dogs and five rescue cats, though they are not all in bed with me at the same time.
      My former wife hated the rescue cat whom I had at that time. It was mutual. He hated her, too. Events showed that the cat was a better judge of women than I had been.

    5. Amy Edelman says:

      A hubby may take out the trash but my Bichon eats it. Beat that!

    6. Cindy says:

      I agree! When I lived at home with my dad our two small dogs always slept with me. After I got married when we’d visit my dad the dogs expected to sleep with me. My husband refused. I caved in, but resented him for it. Fast-forward several years and we divorced (not because of the dog-sleeping situation, but it should have been a huge red flag). My new man not only encouraged our dogs to sleep with us, but we upgraded to a king-sized bed so that there’d be more than enough room for all of us!

    7. vikki Heller says:

      My Bichon is the LOVE OF MY LIFE, AND ANY MY BOYFRIEND IS JEALOUS OF MY BICHON AT TIMES, BUT HE KNOWS WINSTON IS MY MAIN MAN AND WILL ALWAYS BE, YOU JUST HAVE TO TRAIN YOUR BOYFRIEND, LET HIM KNOW THAT YOUR BICHON IS AND ALWAYS will BE THE ONLY MAN OF YOUR HOUSE, TELL HIM DEAL WITH IT OR ADIOS !!!!

      1. Roz Warren says:

        Clearly, Winston has got you very well trained. LOVE it!

    8. Ruth says:

      Did you watch the next to last episode of Downton Abbey?

      1. Roz Warren says:

        Uh -oh. Don’t tell me that anything bad happens to Isis.

    9. Kelly says:

      I definitely don’t care enough about dogs to choose a boyfriend based on them!

      1. vikki Heller says:

        Your loss ! , Dogs are better then any human, you need to love a dog

    10. Mister Wonderful says:

      I really have nothing against dogs per se, but I would not wish to share my bed with them. But extraneous to that, this is a wonderfully written essay!

      1. vikki Heller says:

        Then why are you here!

        1. Roz Warren says:

          He’s here because he’s my sweetie pie & best friend. As such, he is obligated to comment on everything I write.

    11. Diane says:

      Why, oh, why did I fall for the large, hairy type? My Old English Sheepdog in my bed would take up the space entirely! Small and fluffy is the way to go, obviously! 🙂

    12. Carol Graham says:

      I am so thankful my hubby loves dogs as much as I do, in fact he is the one who introduced me to ‘sleeping’ with dogs. Loved the funny comments.

      1. Roz Warren says:

        Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed the piece.

    13. No contest. Dog. Fuggedaboudit.

    14. Leslie says:

      Keep the bitch…make the switch!

      My husband and I have two sixty pounders and a king sized bed. They’re all keepers.

      1. Roz Warren says:

        “Keep the bitch, make the switch.”

        LOVE it!

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