• A French start-up is marketing a Bluetooth-enabled vibrator that can be paired with an erotic Ebook. During the smutty parts, all you have to do is tap the screen or shake the device and the vibrator starts up.

    It’s going to generate some buzz,” quipped gadget reviewer Nate Hoffelder in the Digital Reader.

    Is this an idea whose time has come? And how soon will you be able to check one out from your local library? A librarian pal just described this device on my favorite Facebook librarian hangout, with the question: “Who volunteers to be the first library to add these to their collection?

    The first response?

    “There’s not enough bleach in the world.”

    The rest of the comments were similarly dismissive: “My prediction: it will come and go.”

    “Better living through technology [wocka wocka]”

    “Ew.”

    “Really puts the E in erotica!”

    “Well this will put a brand new spin on Book Club.”

    “I can’t wait for the first patron who brings one in and asks us to help them set it up.“

    Let’s just say that if you want to come in my library? You’re on your own.”

    I wouldn’t want to be the person who had to check it back in. But honestly, it would probably have fewer germs on it than the average board book.”

    But never mind that. I think the folks who dreamed this up are missing an important opportunity.  What a terrific way to motivate reluctant readers! Nobody really needs an incentive to read erotica. But if I’d known that I’d be rewarded with an orgasm at the end of every section, I might have actually opened my high school Chemistry textbook.

    Why not pair a vibrator with every copy of the tax code! Or “The Beginner’s Guide To Digital Photography? “

    Not to mention “Medicare for Dummies.“

    What if we could special order Vibrating Bestsellers to get us through those ultra-boring Book Group reads?  Let’s face it — you’re far more likely to complete all 784 pages of “The Goldfinch” if you can count on “Buzzy‘s” help.

    Or Vibrating Classics? Maybe I’d finally be able to finish Middlemarch!

    All kidding aside, for me, this particular product serves as a perfect illustration of an important concept:  Just because you CAN do something, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you SHOULD.

    But for others, it could be exactly what they’ve always been waiting for.

    Still, if you’re expecting to be able to check one out from your local library? It‘s going to be a very long wait.

    Roz Warren

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    Article by: Roz Warren

    Roz Warren (www.Rosalindwarren.com) writes for the Funny Times, the New York Times, the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Christian Science Monitor, the Jewish Forward, Reader’s Digest and the Huffington Post. And she’s been on both the Today Show and Morning Edition. Roz is the author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR, which collects her most popular essays about library work.

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    Tell us what you think - Please make your comments

    1. Mail4JEfrem@GMail.Com' Joel Realberg says:

      Still working on a companion title but how about
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eab_beh07HU

    2. travelswithtam@gmail.com' tam warner minton says:

      Ha ha. Watch, it will be a best seller!

    3. ladydi538@verizon.net' hillsmom says:

      Well, this will have to be forwarded to my other favorite (retired) Librarian. She would never believe it. So more for your collection of “Tales from the Library”. Hope you are now able to get around after the big storm. We got lots more out here. Cheers…

    4. ruth@craniumcrunches.com' Ruth says:

      I agree that not every idea should become more than idea! Just proves that every book related idea will go on my wish list :)!

    5. bethedelman68@gmail.com' Beth Edelman says:

      I don’t get it, or maybe I do. We’re lame, can’t do a blessed thing for ourselves. No walking, no running, hard on the joints, and definitely no secret pleasure. And please don’t think about stuff it causes wrinkles. We’re not permitted to be private, akin to keeping secrets, you know that’s toxic. Ok I do get it.

    6. perry.block1@gmail.com' Perry Block says:

      I want you all to know I’m only experiencing the orgasm for the literary value.

    7. blumstone@comcast.net' Kate says:

      Great “piece” as always. I’ll never think of Middlemarch the same way again.

    8. blumstone@comcast.net' Kate says:

      Great piece as always! I’ll never think of Middlemarch the same way again.

    9. suldog@aol.com' Jim Sullivan says:

      This would be a tremendous accessory to include with copies of Moby Dick.

    10. kelly.siderio@gmail.com' Kelly says:

      Seems a little over the top to me!

    11. kelly.siderio@gmail.com' Kelly says:

      Seems a little over the top to me!

    12. ankurmithal@hotmail.com' A Mithal says:

      Promises to be a seat-of-the-pants thriller

    13. ccassara@aol.com' Carol Cassara says:

      Just when I thought there was nothing new under the sun… I wonder how sales are going…. we’ll probably never know unless it’s a runaway hit!

    14. cherylnicholl57@gmail.com' Cheryl Nicholl says:

      LOVE the response ,”I wouldn’t want to be the one to check it back in’! You librarians are a hoot!

    15. ShifraChester@gmail.com' Cathy Chester says:

      OMG. What’s next? This is hysterical.

    16. loisaltermark@gmail.com' Lois Alter Mark says:

      Fascinating idea but, in this case, I think E is also for Ewwww!

    17. genre1837@aol.com' Mister Wonderful says:

      Wonderful!