• Why breakup over a bag of candy corn? Listen to my story and be the judge.

    I was meeting up with a man I’ve known for years. We’re both over fifty, divorced, and he lives in another town. If one of us has business within driving distance, we spend the day together, have dinner, drinks, and a little overnight adventure. Every time I meet my guy, it’s magical, full of laughs and romance. And, last week was no exception, except for the candy corn.

    The build-up to a meet-up can be exciting, although it’s tough. The to-do list for a woman over fifty that is not with a man on a regular basis is endless. It includes:

    • The crash diet: no bread, sugar, or anything delicious to eat.
    • Exercise: sit-ups, leg lifts, butt lifts, and must do something with those flabby arm lifts.
    • Hair: dye those roots, cute haircut with highlights. Price – a bargain at $250.
    • Body hair: shave armpits and legs before braiding is possible.
    • Body hair (part two): the torturous brazilian. I’m longing for the 1970’s to come back.
    • Skin: moisturize with a tinted, firming lotion. The tint is key so your paleness doesn’t hurt his eyes.
    • Nails: manicure, pedicure (Do guys really care?)
    • Shop: sexy outfit and a trip to Victoria’s Secret. (Thongs are not flattering.)

    After all the prep, you hope for a room with dim lighting.

    The day began with a walk through town. Philadelphia was new to us and it was a gorgeous day. The architecture was beautiful and good to see ol’ Rocky again. We went to Reading Terminal Market and had the best knishes. Both of us are original Brooklynites, so we know our knishes. We separated a bit at The Market, and without my knowledge, my man picked up a little something sweet.

    We returned to the room and I immediately went to beautify in the bathroom. When I came out, there was a bag lying on the bed. I picked it up and asked, “Is this for me?” He said, “Yeah.” I opened the bag and inside was a bag of candy corn.

    Although my guy is generous and has paid for wining and dining me, he’s not one to give me any type of gift. I was touched that he thought to buy me something, a sweet, small gesture.  It warmed my heart. I thanked him and placed it next to the television. Yes, a $3.00 bag of candy can have that impact.

    That evening we had a fantastic dinner and I ate the best chicken dish ever. We laughed, teased each other, playfully argued about politics, and got along really well. The night ended with watching the Yankees lose while eating a rich, dark chocolate mousse cake.

    The next day he packed up and left the hotel before me. When I was alone, going through our time together in my mind and packing my things, I thought, “Where’s the candy corn?” I knew I left it by the T.V. I didn’t think much of it though, figuring that I must have thrown it in one of my bags.

    When I got home and unpacked – no candy corn. I know at 50-plus, I have those moments when I don’t remember where the heck I put things, but this wasn’t one of those moments. I texted my guy.

    “Where did my candy corn go?” He wrote back, “I took the candy corn. It was Tutti Frutti.” I continued, “What? You took the candy corn? I thought that was a present. How could you have taken the candy corn?” He thought I was joking and wrote back, “Hah.”

    What kind of guy gives you a gift and takes it back? No matter how big or how small, a gift is a gift, right? Time for analyzing the situation. I asked my best friends to give me their wise 50-something opinions.

    • It was an accident and he didn’t mean to take it. It just fell into his luggage.
    • He wanted something to munch on for the car ride home.
    • He really has a thing for Tutti Frutti.
    • He’s an idiot.

    I think he didn’t buy the candy for me. He bought it for himself, but when I asked him if it was a gift, he lied and said that it was. In the end, he wanted the candy. He didn’t think I’d care or notice, so he took it. As far as I’m concerned, once he said it was for me, it was my gift and not his to take.

    Shoot. I had such a good time with him. Why did he have to ruin everything? My friends were split on this. Both of my girlfriends thought it was selfish and uncaring. But one thought I shouldn’t take it so seriously. And the other?  She called him every four letter word in the book.

    What did I do? I texted him that it wasn’t right, to give a gift and take it back, even a $3.00 bag of candy. (Maybe I used a few other choice words.) It’s been 3 days. No apology. No response. I know he doesn’t get it. He thinks I’m making a big deal out of nothing.

    Whether you’re 20-something or 50-something, dating is challenging. Think we broke up? I think so. Oh well, Happy Halloween – enjoy your candy corn!

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    Janice@hwtears.com'

    Article by: Janice Haas

    Janice is the co-author of a humor book, "You Know You’ve Been A Stay-At- Home Mom Too Long When…" She continues to write humorous pieces and hopes to have her screenplay, "Gotta Itch for Mitch," picked up by Judd Apatow or a top Hollywood producer!

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    1. afvandenbergh@msn.com' Ann Vandenbergh says:

      I have been wondering if your last story would be continued……great writing….what will be next?

      1. Janice.haas@hwtears.com' Janice says:

        Thanks a bunch Ann!

    2. fsl1959@aol.com' Fred Lubarsky says:

      Janice Haas’s stories are awesome. I love each and everyone of them.

      1. Janice.haas@hwtears.com' Janice says:

        Thank you Fred! I appreciate your words.

    3. cathyrrrobinson@gmail.com' Cathy Robinson says:

      Laugh out loud, but then so sad. I think you are right about the candy corn. What disturbs me the most is that he probably lied so easily about it. Why do people lie?

      I would love to read more of Janice’s witty commentaries.

      1. Janice.haas@hwtears.com' Janice says:

        Thank you for your feedback Cathy!

    4. vmherter@yahoo.com' Vicki says:

      So funny, sad and true all at the same time! I would love to read more of Janice’s stories.

      1. Janice.haas@hwtears.com' Janice says:

        Thanks so much Vicki!