Are women over 50 unhappy with their sex lives? I’ve noticed a lot of articles recently that indicate women are concerned about this. Let’s talk about this and what can be done.
Women over 50 grew up in an era when there were more sexual taboos. Now they are seeing changes in their bodies and in their lives at the same time that the larger culture is filled with images of sexy young women. All of this may cause women to succumb to the idea that a passionate and satisfying sex life is only possible for younger women.
In addition, as Tommaso Cai, an urologist who specializes in male genitalia and the urinary tract, reports in The Local, “Men are generally sexually satisfied and are unaware that they may have a problem until it’s brought up by the woman.” Male partners may instead blame it on their partners. Of course these male sexual problems tend to develop more often in older males.
I want to point out that women over 50 can deal with sexual issues and have happy and satisfying sex lives. Information and some new experimentation can help. Despite any specific ideas you may have heard in the past, women don’t have one sexual peak. Unfortunately, the notion of some kind of bell curve when it comes to sexual prowess causes many women to believe that they’re “past their prime.” When it comes to livelihood in the bedroom—this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Instead, women should think of their sexuality as a set of waves. There are pits and valleys, but each one is met with a peak. It’s ever changing. While the lows can be dull and frustrating, there are plenty of very fun ways to help you climb back up to a high, but only if you’re willing to try some new things. Taking advantage of ways to ignite that spark again means you have to let go of the sexual hang-ups you’ve probably carried in your psyche since puberty.
No matter how they’ve acquired them, whether it’s because of the way they were raised, religious reasons, insecurities, or other issues, everyone has inhibitions that are hard to let go of in the bedroom. And unfortunately, one of the best ways to spice things up in the bedroom is also one that people have reservations about—introducing sex toys.
Live Science said that those who introduced toys into their sex lives experienced higher levels of sexual satisfaction and other measures of sexual function. If a professional study doesn’t persuade you enough, consider some of other issues. No, owning a sex toy when you have a partner does not mean that they’re incapable of satisfying you. It doesn’t make your sex life any less “natural.” It doesn’t make you any less of a lady; it doesn’t make you a whore; and it doesn’t mean that you’re some kind of sexual fiend.
The only thing that buying toys makes you (besides someone with a very satisfying sex life) is part of the majority of sexually active women. In fact, a study published on Web MD reported that the use of sex toys is a lot more common among women in relationships than those who were single. The study also found that women aged 25-34 were the most likely to report using a sex toy (51%) but that women aged 55-60 were just as likely. The only difference among the ages is that women 55-60 were half as likely as younger women to report incorporating them into their current sex lives.
Zest Now has reported on playful ideas and toys in the bedroom. Vibrators, for good reason, are one of the most popular. Many women report that introducing toys like vibrators allow them to achieve multiple orgasms during intimacy. They also allow for the added lesser-known benefit of taking the pressure off of your partner to help you get to the big ‘O.’
Of course, it’s not just vibrators that fall under the umbrella term for sex toys. There are also accessories. Accessories can be anything from sexual lube (a necessity for those experiencing any dryness) to restraints. Some popular accessories are available at Adam and Eve. Thanks in large part to the popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, more couples are finding satisfaction in kinkier sex that they otherwise would have imagined. This new-found satisfaction is only achievable once they let go of their inhibitions behind closed doors.
Remember how much better sex was with your partner when you found that perfect balance between being comfortable with one another, yet sex together was still new and exciting?
There’s no reason why you can’t recreate that same feeling. You just have to be willing to try new things! There are few things that can compete with good sex. Do yourself a favor and talk to your partner about introducing a toy into your bedroom play. When you try new ideas you may really understand what you’ve been missing.
By Sara Upton
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