Believe it or not, cheating is NOT the main reason people get divorced today. Experts agree that lack of communication is the root cause; but there are others.
Many people get married for the sake of having a fancy wedding and not necessarily because they’re in love. When it comes to real feelings, however, there has to be real substance for a marriage to last a lifetime. Here’s a look at the 10 most shocking reasons people get divorced.
1. You got married for the wrong reasons.
Increasingly more men and women get married for money these days. That’s actually a golden ticket to the quickest divorce. Many divorced women have regrets; they want a big wedding and a house, but they end up realizing that stability is not the recipe for happiness. Money can’t buy love; financial stability makes you feel comfortable, but then again if the other person doesn’t make your heart run out of its chest, you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons.
2. Loss of identity.
Codependent relationships are toxic. When you don’t share mutual interests and you can’t reveal your true self in front of your husband, then you have two options – you can either get a divorce or continue the relationship and live miserably for the rest of your life. Marriage is not about changing who you are; it’s about communication and understanding. Loss of identity is one of the main causes for divorce because there’s no compatibility.
3. Household disagreements.
Getting married, moving into a home with a spouse, and living together are steps that come naturally in life. But then again, if you feel that everything’s changed now that you’re hitched and that there’s no spark to keep the love flame alive, then maybe you should separate. This scenario might persuade you to consider couples therapy to fix your marital issues; however, both of you have to agree and compromise in order to be able to save your marriage and avoid a divorce.
4. Nonexistent sex life.
Marriage comes with a lot of changes – some less pleasant than others. No sex or barely any sex is a common reason why people end up in divorce. How can you keep the relationship alive when you’re no longer interested to spice things up in the bedroom? Loss of sexual appetite and physical attraction leads to numerous issues. In this case, you can either ask for relationship advice and talk to each others; or take the easy path and get a divorce. One thing’s for sure – intimacy is the salt and pepper of a happy marriage.
5. Forced behavioral changes.
When there’s no happiness in a marriage, one of the couples may try to change the other. But the change is forced and masked in all sorts of forms – criticism, complains, threats, etc. This is the recipe for disaster. Change is normal in a relationship, but it has to be mutual. There has to be understanding from both spouses.
6. Loss of physical affection.
There’s a difference between physical affection and physical attraction. The sex might be great; but there’s more to a marriage than just intimacy. You have to show your better half that you’re affectionate, kind and spontaneous. Couples without an intimate connection can’t hold on to a marriage. Everyone has relationship problems, but you must be willing to move past misunderstanding and find a way to connect to your better half on a deeper level.
7. Difference interests.
It is important for two people who are in a relationship to share common interests. You don’t have to be the same and do the same things all day long. But common passions will strengthen the bond you two have. Otherwise your marriage will fall apart. Conflicting situations will emerge, and you’ll end up fighting over the smallest things on a daily basis.
8. Lack of communication.
Communication is vital in a marriage. When couples don’t talk to each other and they don’t state their opinions, disagreements become inevitable. The key to stop a fight is to settle on some ground rules – each partner must be heard and feel respected. Every now and then, a third party referee such as a counselor can help. Communication in relationships is the glue that makes things work. When there’s no communication, divorce is the easiest way out.
9. Too much fighting over the silly things.
Married couples that don’t click fight because they need a reason to get mad and not talk to their better half. Lack of intimacy in marriage, silly arguments and insignificant misunderstandings usually trigger other issues that are bigger and a lot more complex. Usually, when divorce is brought into the discussion, that couple’s chance of saving their marriage becomes nonexistent.
10. No respect.
For a marriage to last there has to be respect from both spouses. You must learn to put the needs of your better above your own. Treat them with kindness and delicacy; don’t get angry for every small detail, and be there for them in the toughest times. Marriage is all about compromise, understanding and esteem. When there’s no respect, there’s no love; hence, the divorce.
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